Going to pack my bag tomorrow and get the things ready. Will I end up with a super big bag, full of unnecessary stuff? And when should I shave botak? Should I also start to wear specs instead of contact lens? Sleep early? Exercise daily? 

I must be both psychologically and physically strong. 

I tend to motivate myself by thinking I'm a SOLDIER (as in the one in the PSP crisis core game). It makes me feel motivated, very(though very stupid). Seeing all my friends going in and in and I'm one of the last to enlist. I should appreciate the additional time I have for passing my Napfa. 

But what did I do for the past month? DOTA-ing away? Am I really happy with how I spend my time? Confused. 

Do I fully appreciate it? Do other people appreciate my presence? I guess its only when there's loss, only then, people can appreciate. 

But why do I need others to appreciate? Confused.  

I've been out for so many days and nights. I learn new things, get exposed. Is it a bit over for me to take it?Confused.

What do I really want in my life? I'm lost. I can't get in Uni's. Should I work? Is me being me a burden to anybody? At least I have 2 years of buffer for me to think. 2 years is long but yet short.Confused.

Have to remain positive, +ve.